The Waxflower
Day 16 In Recovery with inner strength
Geraldton Wax native bush wildflower comes out in full bloom at this time of the year. A flush of magenta and purple peeping through the corners of my eyes everywhere I go. There’s some in my front garden, on the side of my street, further down and around the block.
Day 16 post operation is a version of me that is uncomfortable such that I am limited to what I do in the day, but comfortable enough to finally do some things for myself. The emergence out of limitations feels encouraging and most of all just a great feeling to gradually regain everyday tasks. There’s also a buzz of fustration at times where the impatience sets in and wanting to get out and about. When a day is sunny like today, it does make it easier to manage the fustration.
It feels like there’s another world that spins around me that I am not really a part of anymore. It’s the busy world of getting things done. For me to recover, things that are not essential just fall off the radar and don’t matter at this point. People drop into my place. A place that stays still and everything else around me moves. It’s the closest way I can think to describe it. Venturing out too soon or for too long makes me dizzy watching the world around me and I just maintain this stillness here. Here the world is complete and empty all in one. It’s isolating and a place of solace together.
Coming out of the recovery cocoon allows a fresh perpective on everything. This is one of the many silver linings in recovery. Being able to appreciate the small things that often get unoticed. To savour the times when feeling good and to sustain and weather the difficult times. It makes for a humbling inner strength of state that I mark in my memory as something positive to remember this time by.
💜